


Your Eyes (Filled with Dreams)

by x_yehet_pcy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, i did zero research on korean university college exams so, im trash but what can we do, this is highly contextualized to MY country OOPS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 03:58:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12380442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_yehet_pcy/pseuds/x_yehet_pcy
Summary: Kyungsoo proctors for the university entrance exams and one of the test takers breaks down.





	Your Eyes (Filled with Dreams)

**Author's Note:**

> the summary is literally it. this is not a romance or fluff fic. im warning for allusions to depression even though i dont explicitly mention it in this fic. this fic means a lot to me! if you read please let me know!

Do Kyungsoo is in his fourth year of university when he signs up to be one of the proctors for the upcoming entrance exams, just for the hell of it. It’s a simple enough affair. The call to be proctors was extended to their program, and Kyungsoo, figuring he was an English major anyway, didn’t take much effort or thought at all to come to the decision to try out for it. It will, after all, look good on his resume, but also, it would be good experience for an aspiring English teacher like him to administer standardized examinations like this one. Above all, he wants to be of service to his beloved university, too!

Well, that’s what he said in the interview for screening anyway. In reality, he wouldn’t even think about sacrificing an entire Sunday, as in sleep late on Saturday night and wake up at four in the morning to be at the campus by the call-time of six A.M., if the whole proctoring gig didn’t come with pay.

So yes, he’s majorly in this for the honorarium.

So far, everything’s been going well. He was lucky enough not to have been assigned a partner for the classroom he was to watch over, which was good because he’s perfectly capable on his own, and being dependent on or being depended on by a pre-chosen stranger as a partner wasn’t something he would have particularly liked. He’s confident enough in himself-- hey, if he could handle a classroom full of rowdy and disrespectful tenth graders on the daily for English classes for practice teaching, then he can certainly handle a bunch of twelfth graders who are too nervous anyway to even try to make a sound.

So yes, everything has been going well so far.

The students are currently immersed in their, by now, second test. Kyungsoo is thankful they’ve reached this point without trouble. He’s as thankful he got assigned to a good batch of students as he is thankful he doesn’t have an assigned partner as his assistant proctor.

Their first test had been a mental ability test-- eighty questions they had to answer in thirty minutes. Practically, Kyungsoo knows that they weren’t supposed to be able to answer all of them, and out of forty students in the class, he spotted only one who actually finished, and with around five minutes to spare, no less. It was a peculiar thing, Kyungsoo had thought, but the kid seemed confident in himself, motivated, driven, and Kyungsoo almost saw himself in him. Except maybe he wouldn’t have smiled and just watched the proctor the remaining time like the kid had done to him.

Now that Kyungsoo thinks about it, though, this particular student had been in too good a mood since he’d entered the classroom, half an hour before the applicants’ actual call-time.  _ Park _ , his family name was, if Kyungsoo remembers correctly when he’d arranged the students in alphabetical order as part of protocol. He must be the happy, dedicated, enthusiastic kind of student. Totally a bright kid. Kyungsoo can’t relate.

The test the students are on now is English-- Kyungsoo’s favorite subject. Not like he’s an English major or anything, right? Totally unbiased.

He sneaks a look at the questionnaire thirty minutes into the English test, and he almost lets a snort slip at how absurdly easy the questions are. If any of these students actually fail the English subtest, they’d have to be the dumbest--

Kyungsoo remembers to look up and around the classroom, because that’s his duty, after all, and his gaze stops at the Park kid. When he catches Kyungsoo’s eyes, he flashes a nice smile, and Kyungsoo looks downwards at the desk of the kid to see that he’d turned his answer sheet over. He’d finished another test ahead of time, it seems, and he doesn’t look like he even broke a sweat, either. If he were a student good in English, he would probably be a favorite to Kyungsoo. Too bad all his students are actually rotten in the laboratory school.

Kyungsoo stands up from the proctor’s table and walks on over to the student’s desk.  _ Park Chanyeol _ , his name in print says on his applicants’ attendance sheet, has large eyes that grow even larger in surprise when he notices he’s being approached. 

“Are you done?” Kyungsoo whispers, and Park Chanyeol lets out a breath of relief.

He smiles, though it isn’t arrogantly. Sheepishly, he answers, “Yes, Sir.”

“You have thirteen minutes left,” Kyungsoo replies, still keeping his voice low. “You can review your answers.” He doubts he needs to, anyway.

Chanyeol pouts, but nods anyway, giving Kyungsoo a thumbs up as he reopens his test booklet and starts going over the questions again.

Kyungsoo tilts his head forward in affirmation and walks around the room, between the rows and columns of students to see if they’re all close to finishing.

They are, and by the time Kyungsoo takes a seat back at his table, the time is up and he begins the instructions for the next subtest, which happens to be mathematics.

Once the students start again, Kyungsoo chances a sneak once more at the test booklet and its contents, and this time he grimaces at the questions. Kyungsoo hates math. It doesn’t matter if these are basic and general questions-- Kyungsoo hates it all the same.

When he lets his eyes scan over the class again, he’s amused at the expression that Chanyeol is now sporting. Kyungsoo can tell they both feel the same way. Kyungsoo supposes it makes sense. Park Chanyeol’s application had specified that he was going for a music program. Alas, whatever major the students are applying for, they still need the general education subjects. Kyungsoo took this same exam a good four years ago, too.

Kyungsoo stands to roam around the room again, eyes keen in case of any suspicious behavior. What he observes instead is how the examinees are all a little more stressed now than they were in the test prior.  _ Ha, serves them right for thinking English was easy shit-- _

Forty minutes pass by quickly with Kyungsoo making sure they’re marking their answers on their answer sheets correctly. He warns out a “Five minutes left!” to the classroom and he tries not to feel pity when a few of them make slight noises of distress. Eventually though, time runs out, and if he bases on what he saw, the students at least got majority of the questions answered. It’s funny, but also sad, when they just choose from the options randomly for the remaining items when Kyungsoo tells them they are not allowed to open the math portion anymore.

The last subtest for the entrance exam is science, and while some of the students seem to have gained back their confidence in test-taking, a good few seem to have let the bad mood from math get to them.

One of these few just happens to be Chanyeol. It’s upsetting for Kyungsoo to watch Chanyeol’s demeanor change entirely. He’d started the test off so good but at this point, he’s chewing at the end of his no.2 pencil, and that can’t be good for his pearly whites.

He’s focused on his science test, which is good, but his hands have been coming up quite a few times to wipe at the beading sweat at his forehead. The examination room is literally sixteen degrees chill air-conditioning. This isn’t a good sign.

Now, Kyungsoo is aware that there shouldn’t be any special attention to be given to any one of the examinees. In their room, they’re all equal people who just want to get in the same university when they graduate. But none of them look to be as troubled as Chanyeol is, at this moment, and it’s far too concerning to ignore.

For the remaining time, he tries to find balance among his proctor routine and protocol duties, watching over the batch of test takers as a whole, and keeping an eye on Chanyeol right at the back. Kyungsoo swears he just saw a tear slip from his eye.

Kyungsoo doesn’t want to make it a big deal to himself, nor does he want to call the attention of the whole class to him. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how he’s supposed to approach Chanyeol and ask if everything’s alright when he looks like he’s trying his best to concentrate on the exam.

Chanyeol angrily swipes at his eyes and he lets out this whimper that makes his seatmate roll her eyes at him. She probably thinks he’s being overdramatic about the science test being difficult, thinks Chanyeol isn’t special for having a hard time like literally everyone else in the room is.

But Kyungsoo is honestly familiar with signs of breakdown even though he’s never had one himself, from volunteering at the health service in university and frequenting the joint high school’s guidance counselling office, and he doesn’t want to watch Chanyeol break and crumble because of the test he’s administering.

When Kyungsoo stands up to do his last rounds around the students, they’ve all evidently lost their concentration and are just hoping it ends as quickly as possible so they can finally go home. Kyungsoo can relate. He wants to go home now, too. He signed up for routinary protocol, not for untimely concern for an applicant who’s trying to fight his tears back on a last subtest.

Kyungsoo thinks Chanyeol would like to go home already, too. Poor boy needs time and space to breathe a little easier--

His watch beeps to signal that time is up and the examination is over now, and above the collective signs that the class lets out, he swears he hears another muffled whimper from the back of the room.

Kyungsoo makes quick work of saying the concluding instructions, making sure he’s talking slow enough that the students understand and are doing things correctly, but fast enough so they can vacate the classroom as soon as possible.

He thanks the examinees with a small bow after announcing when the test results are coming out and what website to visit to see them, and accounting for all the test materials, including the test booklets and questionnaires, and their answer sheets, and after some more final announcements, they begin shuffling out of the room.

To Kyungsoo, it’s a miracle that Chanyeol was able to brave through the exam and finish until the very last item, as well as follow the directions to pass his papers correctly with the other students. But as expected, instead of standing up and leaving the room in a rush like everyone else in his batch had, Chanyeol stays rooted in his seat, fingers of both hands clenched tight into fists. He keeps his eyes downcast, trained on the messy scrawls on his spare sheet of computation paper. His breathing is ragged and his eyes are an unattractive pink, so far different from how bright they were when he’d greeted Kyungsoo before the test started.

To be safe, he opens the door and calls out for a floor supervisor to have a medic on standby in case things get too bad for him to handle, but he takes it upon himself to walk towards Chanyeol and crouch down right in front of him.

Chanyeol closes his eyes when they meet Kyungsoo’s, and they start tearing up again.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo tries softly.  “The test is over.”

Chanyeol’s shuddering exhale in front of him doesn’t really make either of them feel better.

“You did well,” Kyungsoo continues, “It’s okay.” Kyungsoo wouldn’t say this if he weren’t sure. But he’d deduced that Chanyeol already did well in both the mental ability test and the English test, and the few questions for math and science that he actually knew the correct answers to, Chanyeol also got. Park Chanyeol is nine-tenths a sure pass to the university.

Chanyeol finally releases his lower lip from his teeth, opens his mouth, opens his eyes. There’s an urgent nod, then another wipe at his tear-stained cheeks. His sleeve misses an entire patch of wet skin. “H--” his attempt at speech is shaky. “H-hand.”

Kyungsoo tilts his head to one side in question, but Chanyeol is holding out one of his hands down towards Kyungsoo.

“Please?”

Kyungsoo extends a hand and Chanyeol grabs it immediately. Kyungsoo quickly does this with his other hand, too, and gets the same response.

Chanyeol’s grip is so tight that they tremble together, but he’s stopped crying and that’s honestly so much for Kyungsoo already.

“You’ll be okay,” Kyungsoo assures, trying for a tone that’s both firm and comforting. “I saw you do your best. You worked hard, that’s what counts.”

Chanyeol nods, more urgently this time, like he wants to cling onto Kyungsoo’s reassurances.

Belatedly, he wonders if Chanyeol’s parents are waiting for him outside like all the other applicants’ are, or if he has friends from the same high school he plans to meet up with to celebrate finishing one of the first entrance tests of the season--

“I just--” Chanyeol sucks in a breath, effectively gaining back Kyungsoo’s attention. “I just wa-- want to make my parents proud.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t answer with an  _ I’m sure they are _ instantly, because he knows nothing about what kind of family the Parks are, and he’d rather not make things worse if they’re less than ideal. Kyungsoo wishes his parents  _ are  _ proud of him, though; Chanyeol is obviously such a brilliant boy.

“Where are they,” Kyungsoo asks, and by now, after a few seconds, Chanyeol’s trembling has ceased and his breathing is, though still a little shaky, considerably calming down.

Chanyeol shakes his head, though, in answer, following it up with, “They’ll be here in an hour to pick me up. I didn’t know the exam was only going to take four hours instead of five.” He pulls a hand away, uses the sleeve of his hoodie, so long that it’s been covering his palm, to wipe at the snot under his nose.

His other hand comes up to his face as well, now, leaving Kyungsoo’s hands unoccupied, feeling empty until he brings them down to rest on top of his knees. Chanyeol pats at both his cheeks to check if his tears have dried.

Kyungsoo gets up from his crouching position then, going to sit on the vacant chair in front of Chanyeol’s. He rests his arms on the back of the chair and quietly observes him.

His eyes are still a little red, and so is his nose, and when Chanyeol looks at him, to ask if he looks okay, Kyungsoo almost doesn’t lie to him. He debates choosing between  _ I’ve seen worse  _ or  _ I’ve seen better _ as answers, but in the end, all he does is smile.

“Sorry,” Chanyeol whispers after a while, obviously embarrassed now of what happened.

“It’s nothing to apologize for. It happens.” Kyungsoo knows it does. He tries to shake the memory of how Chanyeol’s grip almost actually hurt out of his mind. Kyungsoo is just happy he’d been around to be of help to him when he needed it.

“Please don’t tell anyone about this.” His cheeks are turning the same shade as his nose now, too. “It’s kinda humiliating.”

It isn’t. Not at all. But Kyungsoo gets how and why it would feel that way for him, and he’s got zero intention to tell anyone except whoever is going to end up reading his reflection and feedback paper at the end of the day.

Chanyeol still looks a little nervous about anyone finding out, so to appease him, Kyungsoo says, “It’s not like I know anyone you know or knows you.”

Chanyeol nods, because that makes sense. Even his co-applicants don’t know him at all; they’re students from different high schools all mixed in a batch.

His eyes grow wide, a thought occurring to him that he voices out. “But what  _ if _ I pass and get into this uni, and we see each other around, and you’ll remember me as the kid who started crying and needed someone to hold hands with--”

“It’s  _ when _ you get into this uni, not if,” Kyungsoo immediately corrects, not meaning to, but also not being able to help himself. He decides it’s worth the momentary inability to control himself when Chanyeol’s eyes go even wider, brighter, and he smiles like he’s relieved to even hear something like that come from someone like Kyungsoo.

He continues, “When you get into this uni.. By that time, I will already have graduated. So you won’t have to worry about seeing me around.”

Chanyeol’s mouth falls open into a small o, and then he pouts. “That’s too bad.”

Kyungsoo hums. “Is it?”

Chanyeol mouths a quiet  _ yeah _ .

Silence falls over them and it is at the lack of conversation that Chanyeol decides to start fixing his things up. He grabs his small napsack and stuffs his no.2 pencils into it, all three of them, two of which had broken lead tips from his earlier struggle with himself.

Kyungsoo watches him as he folds his test permission slip, but not before noting that Chanyeol is-- he’s eighteen. That’s a whole two years older than the common age value of everyone else who’d taken the test. Kyungsoo was a university sophomore when he was eighteen. It isn’t any of his business but he begins anyway, “You’re taking the exam late?”

Chanyeol seems ready with his answer, starts with, “Yeah, I finished high school two years ago but--” He reconsiders, eyes now downcast, again, as he tucks his permission slip into his bag. “I guess you can already tell I don’t have the best mental health.” He bites his lip.

_ He’s so young _ , “But you’re so young.” Kyungsoo isn’t even much older than him, not at all, two years is insignificant.

But at eighteen, Kyungsoo was living a happy and contented life knowing he’d be going into teaching the way he’d always dreamed of, and the way he’d always known would make his parents proud. He’s never in his life felt how a breakdown firsthand is really like as Chanyeol’s had been just now.

“Does this kind of thing really choose an age?” Chanyeol smiles distractedly, zipping up the small pockets of his bag. “Eighteen isn’t too young. I don’t think any age is too young for this.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t want to ask what  _ this _ directly refers to, but he’s got a pretty clear idea of what it is now, as Chanyeol just pushes his back against the backrest of his chair. He breathes in and out, and Kyungsoo understands.

He wants to know more, to learn more. It’s so easy for people like him who have never gone through what Chanyeol did,  _ does _ , to disregard things like this. Chanyeol doesn’t need pity. Sympathy, maybe. Some care. Lots, and lots, and lots of care.

This brings Kyungsoo back to one of his thoughts from a few minutes ago.

“Do you have friends waiting for you outside, then? Before your parents come to pick you up?” Kyungsoo hopes he  _ does _ have friends waiting for him now. Waiting for him always.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol brightens up, lifts his back off of his chair and stis up straighter. “Jongdae and Baekhyun probably finished before me. They’re smart people, my best friends.”

Kyungsoo is relieved at the sight of a brighter smile. “I’m sure you’re smart, too.”

Chanyeol shrugs, finally slinging his bag over his shoulders. His shoulders still slump despite the brightness of his face and Kyungsoo thinks it must be hard, must take a lot, being that way, having to put up a front. The people Chanyeol will be seeing once he steps outside of this classroom are going to look at him and think nothing is wrong. Maybe Jongdae and Baekhyun won’t, and will see right through him. He hopes again.

“You better get going, then.” Kyungsoo tells him, standing up himself and starting to walk towards the front of the room. Chanyeol follows close behind him.

When Kyungsoo turns around and sends him a questioning glance, Chanyeol just holds out his hand, and Kyungsoo sees a bar of chocolate. It’s a little deformed, probably from having been kept in Chanyeol’s pocket for more than four hours, but it’s still a chocolate bar.

“What is it,” Kyungsoo asks, not what is it as in he doesn’t know what chocolate is, but what is it as in what is Chanyeol doing giving it to him?

“I was supposed to snack on it during the exam to keep me energized,” Chanyeol says, all casual, “But we both know how that went.”

Kyungsoo holds back a wince, receiving the bar anyway, albeit a little reluctantly. He retreats his hand slowly in case Chanyeol wants it back for himself after all, but Chanyeol just grins at his acceptance of the treat.

“Also…” Chanyeol gets a bit quieter. “For causing you trouble.”

Kyungsoo feels his eyes widen, then blink, then widen again. “Oh no, it was no trouble at all--” Because it wasn’t. It seriously wasn’t--

“I’m sorry for being a burden.”

“You aren’t,” Kyungsoo defends before Chanyeol can add anything else. He tries to sound firm. He clutches the chocolate tightly. “Don’t think of yourself like that.”

Chanyeol smiles sadly. “Hard not to when I literally made you hold my hand until I stopped crying. Hard not to, too, when I’m holding you back like this when you could be going home already.”

Both those things are true, Kyungsoo thinks, but he’s doing this as a human reaching out, and it isn’t a burden at all. He sighs, looks at Chanyeol, only to see his eyes fixed onto the hand that he’s closed too tight around the chocolate bar. It deforms even more.

Kyungsoo loosens his grip, and goes as far as tearing the foil packaging open, breaking the bar into two and handing one half to Chanyeol. He starts eating the one he has left.

“No,” Chanyeol flusters, pushing Kyungsoo’s hand back. “It’s for you--”

Kyungsoo literally reaches over and shoves the chocolate into Chanyeol’s mouth, and while he feels sorry that it was probably too big a bite of bitter dark chocolate to take at once, Chanyeol is laughing around his mouthful and  Kyungsoo thinks he looks so good like that.

Kyungsoo quickly finishes his piece and retrieves the test materials, getting ready to head out. In the end, the medic didn’t arrive, but Kyungsoo is most thankful that they didn’t need one after all.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo meet right at the door when they walk to the exit. “Take care of yourself,” Kyungsoo says, as a goodbye, gently.

Two students come bounding at the door, heads poking into the room, noisy as they shove at each other and call for Chanyeol.

The light in Chanyeol’s eyes are more genuine this time, his smile more natural. “I will,” he replies quietly.

Once he’s out the door, he’s yelling senselessly with his friends and they’re just as jovial.

“You have chocolate in your teeth! Gross,” Kyungsoo hears one of them say, and the other follows with, “What a waste of such good teeth!”

Kyungsoo walks out of the room, finally, looks down the hall to see both of Chanyeol’s arms around their shoulders, his smaller friends on either side of him. He’s got a cap on backwards now and he’s jumping like he isn’t the biggest of the three of them, jostling his friends against him.

“Please walk quietly as you leave the building,” Kyungsoo calls out to them, scolding but just that bit playful for Chanyeol.

They all freeze and quiet down, and only Chanyeol dares turn his head to look at him as they continue walking.

Chanyeol mouths a  _ thank you again _ with a little bow, before he tightens his arms around his friends and starts running, dragging the two of them with him out the building. The door closes behind them and Kyungsoo is left in silence, standing in the middle of the hallway.

The test materials feel heavy in his hands, he’s getting a little sleepy from his early rise this morning, he should get his free lunch and water, and he’s going to get paid at the end of the day. But for a few seconds, he stays rooted in his spot, reflects a little, as if he has the time.

Kyungsoo doesn’t have doubts Chanyeol’s going to pass into this university, if this is his first choice among the top universities in their city, but honestly speaking, he’s still not authority anyway. Kyungsoo doesn’t really know. He’s not going to be seeing Chanyeol around campus either, if ever. He’ll have graduated by the time Chanyeol gets admitted into the university. If he does. He will.

Kyungsoo turns over the materials eventually to the head proctor and supervisor, writes a brief narrative report about his unusual and unexpected encounter with Park Chanyeol.

He walks to the station nearby to go home. He’s about to board the train when Chanyeol and his two friends pass by, running and laughing, carefree. Chanyeol really looks happy with them. Kyungsoo is glad.

The train leaves, and Kyungsoo watches idly as his surroundings flash by.

When he digs his phone out of his pocket, something falls to the floor. It isn’t crowded enough in the train for Kyungsoo not to be able to bend down and pick it up.

It’s the crumpled foil wrapper from the chocolate Chanyeol gave him. He smiles.

Wherever Chanyeol is and whatever he’s doing, Kyungsoo hopes he’s okay.


End file.
